Also, my heart goes out to the beautiful and courageous late Neda and her family. If we are complacent enough not to better the bad around us, then we should simply raise our kids right; make them capable, compassionate and righteous and then unleash them on the world. I am sure they will find a method in all this madness.
Anyway, coming to my Battle of the Bulge, this past week, I did manage to make it to the gym. Stepping in after so many months (read 12), I was overwhelmed; not by the machines as much as by the people on the them. Well-toned hamstrings sweating on the elliptical, fashionably muscular and thin arms crunching the bicep curl, nicely chiseled calf and thighs pounding the treadmill at speed enough to overtake cars in the left lane.
Damn, I was in shapely body heaven and, sadly, quite out of shape. Biting my lips and holding on to my towel and a bottle of cold water, I got on with it. All the time thinking why is that skinnies, as I call them, need to sweat so much. Isn’t that an overkill?
On my way from the elliptical to the hip abduction machine, (I should probably build my house and live on that one) I passed a barely 100 pound woman pulling weight almost triple her body weight. Her motive I know, she is training for WWF or over-killing to the power of infinite.
Then I stumbled across a teenager, just beginning to sprout facial hair, yapping on the phone and with his other hand, heaving a dumbbell probably rated R. And of course there was this other man, who defying gravity, was doing hardest of the hardest abdominal crunches, flat lined on a bench. As I passed him, I heard him grunt 103. Showoff, I labeled him silently.
Anyhow, I have decided on my workout regimen, elliptical for 40-60 minutes, and then 20 reps (repetition) with lightweights, three to four times a week. Lightweights as I do not want to bulk up, the whole idea is to bulk down. Lightweight and more reps shall work a specific part of the body, shape it, build enough muscle to burn calories even as I rest (I am working hard so I can laze longer).
You can always differentiate between the Billionaires and borderline paupers not only by what they have but also by how they think. Bill Gates plans so he can generate Benjamin Franklins as he sleeps, I plan to burn calories on my way to la la land.
Coming back, the machines I have chosen are hip abduction, ab crunch and a machine that works oblique. Sorry, I shall get it’s official name, unofficially I am calling it the love handle cutter- especially the one that starts from your waist and converges on the abdomen or knee.
As I sweated, doing my last 10 minutes on the elliptical (bringing your heart rate down and then taking it up again – or as informed populace calls it, interval training, does wonders for skyrocketing your metabol.), I saw the snob (remember the one who was doing gravity defying ab crunch) hobble out of the gym on crutches. With obvious effort, I saw him make his way to a car parked on the disabled spot and maneuver himself and the crutches inside the automobile.
I stand on the elliptical, humbled, awed and inspired. If he can do it, I bloody well work harder and gripe less.
FYI – With around three weeks of careful eating and drinking loads of H20, a week of being sick and five days of extensive gyming, I have lost 5-6 pounds and around 1-2 inch all over.
Peeps few tips to look thin specially in those pictures you post on social networking sights:
- Stand next to something much larger than you. It could be a motorbike, car, truck or a building. Choose according to your size.
- Secondly, do not have picture of you standing on the beach, all covered up with only neck and face exposed. You are assumed to be fat- period. So on the beach flaunt some skin, even if it’s only your forearms or fingertips.
- Lastly and seriously, wear tops/blouses slightly cinched at the waist. It gives our body some shape and we do not resemble an uninteresting blob of endless cloth.
Till next Thursday
Abientot!
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